I Hit a Girl
by VioletLolitaPop
Summary: America hit a girl. Not that he wanted to, he didn't have a choice! Really! :Fem!Russia:


"Oi! Jones!"

America Jones, star athlete and overall good guy of World Academy, head desked at the sound of his own name being called. He instantly regretted the action as the throbbing pain in his forehead intesified that much more. With a swear turned grunt on his lips, he turned his head in the direction of the open window. He was greeted by three pairs of eyes in their own respectable shades.

"Holy shit," the red eyes remarked. "She did a number on him!"

"Dios mio," the green eyes agreed. "It's worse than I imagined!"

"It's not that bad," countered the blue eyes. "I half expected him to be hooked up to life support with the way England made it sound."

America sighed and slumped up in his seat, giving the three outside a better look at his face. The all star athlete and overall good guy sported a fat lip, black eye, and stitches running along his right eyebrow. The lack of a tie showed off his neck that was already starting to bruise and show finger indents wrapped around his neck. All in all, he was one messed up sight.

"You jerks gonna come in?" he asked. "Or you just gonna keep at it like I'm not here?"

The window swung full open, giving way for each member of the infamous "Bad Friends Trio" to enter. Prussia reached him first, cackling the whole while at his misfortune.

"I don't know what's worse," he said. "The fact that you hit a girl or that she kicked your ass."

"I got her back pretty damn good," America countered. "Did you see her face yet?"

"Did you not hear the first part of Prussia's statement?" France asked in return. "You hit a girl."

"She hit me first!"

"That doesn't matter," Spain piped in. "You don't hit girls."

"Russia's not a girl," America dead panned. He earned a high five from Prussia.

France leaned in close enough to have his personal bubble considered null and void. With a slight thoughtfull tilt of his head, he said quiet seriously, "That's not what you used to say."

America's cheeks clashed with the rest of his blotched face. "That was a long time ago."

"Last week is considered a long time ago?"

"I do not like her!" America exclaimed.

Spain decided to join France in raping America's personal bubble. He placed his hands on the desk surface and leaned so close, the other boy had the bend backward.

"You like Russia?" he cried.

"Since middle school," France was all too happy to inform.

"Que cuu~te!"

Prussia snorted. "What's wrong with you?"

America murmured to himself. "She was cuter then..."

"Either way," France sighed, "there's no hope for you and your lady love."

"Because I hit her?" America guessed and crossed his arms.

"Because you hit her." France decided to ennunciate his point by producing a rose out of nowhere. He handed the flower back to America and went on with his speech. "Like any other female, Russia is as delicate as a flower. ("More like a thorn.") She's lost and confused in a male dominated world and needs to be taken care of."

"Are we talking about the same Russia?" Prussia sweat dropped. "Because the Russia I know, is bat shit crazy and brings out a pipe outta god knows where most of the time to beat the shit outta people."

"It's mostly for show though," Spain pointed out. "I think that describe's her sister more."

"The whole lot of them are crazy."

"Ukraine's pretty normal," said America.

"That's exactly what makes her not normal," countered Prussia. "After seeing what her sisters can do, you're gonna tell me you don't wonder about her?"

"She reminds me too much of Canada to be a real threat," America said.

"Wasn't Canada talking to the maple syrup in Foods today?"

"That's not the point." America ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Is there an actual reason why you three are hassling me?"

"Actually, we wanted to know the details," Spain told him.

America raised an eyebrow. "I thought everyone knew already."

"Not really," began Prussia. "See, the news of you hitting a girl and then getting your ass handed to you went around, but no one really knows what it was about."

America pointed a finger in his direction. "First of all, I did _not_ get my ass handed to me. It was a tie. Second, I dunno why it happened. No, really, she did hit me first."

"No one hits anyone for no reason," France reasoned. ("Romano does that to me all the time!") "What happened before you hit her?"

"Why is it that everyone plays up how I hit her?" America muttered. "Okay, so I'm walking with Japan and just when I'm finally gonna get him to let me borrow Persona 2, Russia pops outta nowhere. She's being her normal creepy self and I just walk by her and the next thing I know, I'm flying towards the floor. I look behind me and get outta the way of the bottom of her boot about to stomp the back of my head in and all she says is how she had just said hi to me.

"So I'm like, 'I heard you, I just ignored you.' and out comes that effing pipe outta nowhere. So when that thing comes crashing down, I get up and I'm dodging everything, right? Being totally badass about it and then for some reason, Japan decides to say something for once in his life. Guess she didn't like it too much 'cause she starts in on him and even though he's being all ninja about it, she still got him in a corner. So I did the only thing I could think of, I pushed her away from him. 'Cause, y'know, the whole shouldn't hit a girl thing...

"I'm about to grab Japan and run the hell outta there, but then she swings her pipe at me and bam! This right here." He paused to point at his stitches. "Then before I know it, she's got her claws around my throat and I.. kinda sorta punched her."

The three boys blinked simultaneously.

"You kinda-"

"Sorta-"

"Punched her?"

"What the hell was I supposed to do?" America asked them. "It's not like I wanted to or anything, it was instinct! I felt my life in danger and did what I could."

"But you still hit her," Spain said. "You still hit a girl."

"But it's Russia," America tried to compromise. "C'mon! Prussia, you high fived me earlier."

"Yeah," Prussia started, "and even though I totally hate the bitch, I still don't think I would hit her. There are just some things that are unawesome no matter what."

"He's right," France nodded. "And you didn't just hit her, you punched her."

"From what Italy told me, you did more than just that," Spain said seriously.

"But..." America trailed off and tried not to bite down on his bottom lip. "Dammit, she did just as much to me didn't she?"

"That's exactly why you're the only one staying after school right?"

America blinked slowly. "Y'know, I don't think I should be getting a 'holier than thou' speech from the three of you."

"Say what you want," Prussia told him. "But we never hit a girl."

"I know, it's why Hungary beats all of you up on a regular basis."

"Now that is just not true."

"And even if it were," France cut in, "there's no excuse for hitting a defenseless female."

"Okay, really?" America asked. "None of the girls around here are defenseless. Hell, even Liechtenstein packs heat."

"That still doesn't mean you can hit them," Spain said once and for all.

The door to the detention room slammed open just then. The BFT moved away from the desk they crowded around when Russia's tall figure strode in to the room. The plantinum blonde took long strides when approaching America; her face marred with a split lip and bruised jaw. It was clear that she wasn't the one to have received the worse end of the fight.

America stood up from his seat abruptly and attempted to back away when she made her way to his desk, extending that pipe (_brought out from god knows where!_) as though it was part of her arm.

"America~," she sang. "I finally found you."

"Look, I ain't finishing anything what happened back there," he said. "Or whatever it is that you came in here for, forget it, 'cause I'm done. I'm not getting into more trouble 'cause of you."

The room turned so cold, they all shivered.

"How hurtful," Russia said placidly enough. "Are you implying I'm to blame for your punishment?"

"Yes, it's your fault," America spat back. "If you hadn't gone psycho bitch on me, I wouldn't've hit you and wouldn't be here."

"Do you mean to say that I deserved to be hit."

"No! I mean, yes! Yes? Am I bad person if I say yes?" He looked to the BFT for guidance and found that all three of them were off looking in different directions.

He rounded back to her and said with confidence, "Just because you're a girl doesn't mean that I shouldn't be able to defend myself when you're about to kill me!"

"So you did get your ass handed to you," said Prussia. The other two slapped their hands over his mouth.

Russia lowered her pipe and stepped closer to the blonde boy. America stood up straighter, not wanting to seem intimidated. Because he totally wasn't.

"So you would hit me again then?" she asked. "Without a second thought and without any regret?"

"Y-yeah. Yeah, I would. 'Cause it's not fair that you get to play the girl card and we all know you can hold you own-"

Russia cut him off by grabbing the back of his head and pressing her lips against his. Their kiss lasted not even five seconds, and ended with Russia nipping at America's bottom lip. America yelped slightly, bringing his thumb up to press down on the new pain and measure the swelling once more. Russia on the other hand, was the only one in the room looking unsurprised and about as normal as when she had first walked in.

"You will be taking me out this Saturday," she declared. "You will dress neatly and meet me at the courtyard at exactly noon. Understand."

America nodded. "Yes ma'am."

Her smile widened slightly. "Good. I look forward to it then!"

Russia turned away from him to make her way out of the room, not so much as giving a second glance to the others. The door closed behind her was a small click, and it was like she had never been there.

Prussia was the first to break their silence.

"What the hell was that?"

France's eyes lit up. "Ah, yes, I see now. It all makes sense."

"Great," America said sarcastically. "Now would you kindly explain to me what the hell just happened?"

"It's love!" Spain cried out.

"Very good, my friend," France praised. "Yes, it's just as he says. You're very lucky, America. That right now, was just a confession."

The door opened again, though this time with more ease and with a smaller blonde walking through. England was about to ask America if Russia had just been in here; though with the sight of the alleged Bad Friends Trio, all concern for his well being went out with her good mood.

"What the hell are you three doing in here!" she yelled. "Get out! Now!"

"England!" France cried out ecstatically, ignoring that demand for them to leave. "You just missed the most spectacular scene!"

"It was something," Prussia agreed.

With a mood swing only England could posses, she asked quite curiously, "And what would that be?"

"America just got a girlfriend!" Spain exclaimed.

England looked skeptical. "How would he manage to do that?"

They looked to him for an answer.

America shrugged. "I hit a girl."

**xxx**

Disclaimer: Russia roulette is not the same without a gun. :D

-Fffff, first fic on a new profile and feelin' fine. B)


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